Splitting the Gender Binary

As soon as any baby is conceived, most mothers take a trip to the hospital to have an ultrasound and get the first look at their child. This is deemed an important process in that the parents can discover the sex of the baby- a factor that our culture finds very important.

This is everyone's first defining quality, and it is expected that this trait will remain a vital part of their identity from that moment onward. Even before we are born, parents prepare for their children according to two distinct social structures- those expecting a boy will have blue balloons and announcement cards, those awaiting a girl will have the same in pink. Parents of a boy will first buy trucks and action figures, those with a girl will prepare dolls. It has become second nature for us to determine the sex of a child by the toys and even colors that are associated with them. As long as this is so, our children are essentially born into a world where their preferences- lifestyles, even- are chosen for them.

What happens here is we automatically place everyone into a gender category according to the sex they are assigned at birth. It is often incorrectly assumed that gender and sex are synonyms, when sex refers to the biological system a person is born with, and gender is a person's mental state of femininity, masculinity, androgyny, or a combination. The problem comes into focus when a society insists that there may only be two categories, and that gender must match the sex assigned at birth, never mind those who find this structure uncomfortable or painful.  

The "gendering" process that begins before birth continues into childhood. During play and often during school, young children are separated into boys and girls and are expected to identify and communicate primarily among that group. Even those as young as toddlers are socialized into seeing sex as an unquestionable border between people that can never be crossed, and once we internalize this mindset, it holds its place as an enveloping, but often subtle, pillar of our culture.

This perception of gender as an absolute dichotomy solidifies the concept of gender roles- the idea that men in our culture must be tough, completely rational, and commanding and that females should be caring, emotional, and submissive. This preconceived notion often goes unnoticed until our expectations are violated, and we are made uncomfortable in a certain situation, such as whenever a woman is physically assertive or a man cries in public. Moreover, even the conception of what is masculine and what is feminine varies and might even be reversed across cultures, to the point where we find others terribly strange or backwards. To some, it may not even occur that this is not simply "the way things are," though some societies do not conform to their structure, and a handful go so far as to have "third genders," like the Hijras of India and the Fa'afafine of Polynesia.

Studies that propose to examine the true differences between males and females are often complicated by a constant nature-nurture debate. What appears to be a biologically or cognitively influenced distinction may in fact result from the internalized gender dichotomy, one so pervasive that we cannot determine if it has its roots in culture or nature. While there are certainly some differences that evolved naturally, it is equally certain that these differences are fewer in number than is commonly thought.

The gender binary has remained a part of our culture for centuries and persists now, past the point where our society is sufficiently evolved not to need it. Realistically, it will continue for long into the future. Why is that a problem? The majority are not bothered by the current system- if they notice it in the first place. The trouble starts when it begins to be oppressive to those who do not fit within its boundaries, when we start seeing it as so concrete that it is the only possible option, when we insist that those outside the system do not and cannot exist. When will we realize that we do not have a binary of black or white, but a spectrum of so much color?